Part of me wishes to retain my previous post and comments, and part of me wishes to start afresh, or even shut the site down. Reading through previous posts I see such spite and anger toward society, my self and others, but really not much love. I remember how I felt at those points, and understand why I wrote what I did, but I have to remind myself at times that I am reading my own work because I really wish I could go back to those points and kick my own arse. It feels really weird disagreeing with what I have said, and stranger still agreeing with people with whom I once clashed vehemently.

I suppose this suggests personal growth, and maybe a little maturity. For that I am thankful. God’s grace and mercy followed me even through these times, and I praise Him for not leaving me in that place.

I guess I’ve learnt a few lessons along the way. I can’t put them all into words, but some are pretty clear. The main one is that negativity is pointless.

I used to take pride in pointing out the ‘realistic’ perspective and how things really were and I used to get so frustrated with folk who tried to put a positive spin on situations that were clearly less than favorable. But overtime I have learnt that this helps no one, least of all myself. Outlook colors reality, so choosing a positive outlook paints my perception of the world for the better and inspires hope. People need hope, it’s what keeps us all going and encourages us to not give up. Stifle hope, and life loses it’s meaning. Negativity does this, it strangles the hope necessary to the survival of tough situations.

The other thing I learnt is that I am part of the problem. I guess you could say that I knew this already, but I certainly didn’t live or talk like I believed it. This lesson is why I haven’t had a lot to write lately, well that combined with the recognition that most of what I wrote was whinging and complaining about this or that. Sometimes I lack the energy to look at a situation constructively, and when this is the case there’s little point writing as nothing really worthwhile results. There are other things I’ve learnt but can’t really articulate right now so I’ll talk about them maybe some other time.

Then there’s some barriers I’ve hit as my life has changed over the past seven years that stifle blogging ambition. Sometimes I wonder if blogging was just a fad, something for folk that have too much to say, and not enough to do. Since becoming a father I have less time on my hands for the things I used to do. Often I find that I have a hard enough time keeping up with the social networking sites I’m involved with, let alone blogging. Family first as they say, and after work, responsibilities, spending time with loved ones and trying to treat my body right who has time to do anything else?

Then there’s the difference in job roles. It used to be that former roles I have occupied allowed me to put in bare minimum and perform successfully, but as I’ve progressed through the ranks this has changed. These days I’m involved in a lot of project work, and with it comes deadlines that demand more than 9 to 5 work hours. To position our family in a better spot financially I also strive to reach the maximum yearly performance rating so that my remuneration and performance bonuses are as high as possible. Again this demands more than what business hours allow. So yeah, I’m time poor, but then who isn’t these days?

So how do I overcome this and keep the words coming? Only thing I can come up with is finding topics that I’m inspired to discuss so writing here is pleasurable again, even in my limited downtime.

So what’s my plan? Honestly I don’t have a lot, but some ideas include rehashing old posts and contrasting them against my current perspectives, writing more about fatherhood and marriage, and the other things I’m passionate about like faith, technology and astronomy. Will I actually do it? I hope so, but I guess time will tell.

I don’t know if I’m going to keep self-hosting as I’m not really utilising many of the benefits it provides, and I feel this money could be better allocated elsewhere. I’ll keep my domains, but might move them across to a free blog hosting service. Maybe Blogger or similar. I have to sort out where the other websites I host are gonna go first but once that’s sorted out this blog will be moving. One thing I want to do is make the migration seamless so that if anyone looks for this site it gets redirected to wherever it ends up. That way those that use this site as a means of finding me online can still do so.

Let’s see how it all turns out. Take care folks.

We also pay for private health insurance, mostly for the convenience factor of avoiding waiting lists for non-urgent treatment that we may need in the future. Our government also provides a 30% premium subsidy to encourage the purchase of private health insurance for those that can afford it. They also provide exemptions to the Medicare levy for low-income earners. This is how a government shows its citizens that it’s working for them rather than itself.

From what I understand, the US health system by comparison appears severely lacking. Somewhat odd too is the fact that it is provided as part of a salary package? What’s the go with that? And why is an employer responsible for their employee’s healthcare?

I’ve watched a number of documentaries about the US health system in the past, and while I take documentaries with a grain of salt, I was interested to see much of what I had heard in documentaries was backed up in this Wikipedia article, which if you read it is rather damning:

Health care in the United States

I don’t get why the US is so opposed to implementing something that could make their nation’s living conditions a great deal better across the board, not to mention take better care of their senior citizens and war veterans, which in my opinion should be a priority of any respectable nation. It’s puzzling to me that a country as prosperous is so deficient in healthcare standards. More puzzling yet is the nations reluctance to make a change that will be beneficial to all its citizens. What’s there to debate? Surely the citizens of the US are not so self-absorbed that they wouldn’t be willing to take a short-term financial set-back in national debt if it meant a benefit to the entire nation and their future generations? But then maybe I’m wrong. I thought along similar lines when it came to Toowoomba’s water crisis debate (a.k.a. Recycled water debate), but in the end FUD ended up winning out, and it may do so yet in this case.

If they are that worried about the cost, maybe they could put NASA on hiatus for a few years. Silly don’t you think, a country that has the most advanced space program in the world, yet can’t even sort out basics like healthcare. Priorities screwy much?

If I were ever offered the chance to live in the US I’d decline. In fact, I wouldn’t live their for quids. While the package wrapping is nice, the contents inside leaves a lot to be desired on a pragmatic level. By contrast my Australian tax dollars go toward things that I can actually see making a significant difference in people’s lives. Medicare being one of them. Family Tax Benefit being another. Even on a personal level, the Medicare threshold saved us stacks of money when we were pregnant with Josiah.

It’s not all bad news for US citizens though. Massachusetts State and the city of San Francisco (CA) seems to have the right idea… at least in regards to healthcare. Maybe they will lead the way in US medical reform. I tell you what though, when I read about conditions like this it makes me glad I live in Australia! Greatest nation on Earth IMO.

When I made the site back in 2003 the most I was confident in stating about myself at the time was that I am a sinner, and a horribly wretched one at that. Trust me on this point! I still believe this as a foundational truth about my nature, but what I’d like to think is that maybe I’ve grown a little since then. No doubt personally, but more importanly spiritually. Because of this I feel my focus needs to shift from the bad news to the good.

I’m also wearing a few more hats than I was at that point. Those being both obvious and pivotal to the need for a change in focus. My little champ will probably read the content herein at some point in the future, and the last thing I want him to think is that his Dad is incapable of change and growth, nor of recognising his own faults.

Spiritually, what resonates more with me these days is not that I’m a sinner, but moreso that I am saved. I think every true Christian has doubts about this at times, but more recently I understand the Father’s unconditional love for us, and I think this is because I know how insanely strong my love is for Josiah. My relationship with him gives me a clearer understanding of how my Heavenly Father’s love for me might look like when my parental love is extrapolated on an infinite and eternal level. Dim picture still I’m sure, but much clearer an idea than I had 6 years ago.

My interests have also shifted a little since 03. I used to be hugely into apologetics, at least on a personal level, partly because of interest in the field, and partly because of insecurity about my own salvation. After a while though apart from keeping the mind active and giving me the tools to hopefully be able to adequately explain the reason for my beliefs, apologetitcs does nothing to touch the heart of the unbeliever. Get them questioning perhaps if they are truely open minded, which none of us really are, but never really enough to meet someone on a spiritual or relational level, and definitely not useful for convicting a soul towards repentance and faith in Jesus Christ. I realise now that this is the job of God’s law.

What I want from the new site to come is a truer representation of me and my journey, and its current trajectory. Not bound by sarcasm, negativity, or even anyone else’s perception of what I should or shouldn’t discuss as a Christian.

The topics I’d like to explore could include evangelism, and my insecurities about sharing my faith with others. Fatherhood too, and the infinite joy I feel inside when I’m spending time with my son. My deep love for my gorgeous wife and how my idea of home revolves around my proximity to her. Previous posts perhaps, and whether or not I still agree with myself six years on. Also how the Christian sub-culture portrays itself in these morally ambiguous times and whether it’s teachings reflect what the scriptures actually state. On this point too, I had an idea of developing my own personal Gospel message/Doctrinal truth check-system based entirely on scripture to grade some of the crap being dished out of the Contemporary Christian Music industry and seeing if we as a Church are still preaching Christ and Him crucified, especially in our music.

These are just some of my ideas, and likelihood is there’d be a fair amount of geek scattered throughout, but to nutshell the idea I want to remove constraints. Just write whatever, or perhaps even nothing. Rant if I feel the need, or reflect on why I feel compelled to rant. Ultimately learn, about myself and those around me.

This after all is what life is all about, relationships.

The resultant conversation was right out of left field… for your amusement here it is, names and places edited for the protection of the parties involved.

Random Blond Chick: Hay Bud, I’m looking for a man by the name Josh who works at the Random Bladibla call center in Tbar….is this you? Kisses
Josh: Yes.
Random Blond Chick: This may seem rude but I dnt mean to be. Is your dream guy Scott who works at pascos?
Josh: Dream guy? Are you smoking crack? I’m both straight and happily married with a kid.
Random Blond Chick: Im so sorry, I didnt mean to be rude. Obviously not the right person. thankyou
Josh: Clearly.

I later remembered that I’m not the only Josh in the call center. Coincidentally the other, if I recall correctly is gay. Sigh… next time I will say possibly…perhaps…or even maybe. Would have been a safer option.

Now, since accidents caused while driving under the influence are specifically excluded in our product disclosure statement, if our insured has done so we will not be covering this claim.

As such, until the results of the breath test are known, we are not approving this claim, and since we are not yet at a stage where the claim is approved or these results are known, we are not willing to pay the hire car costs for you up front.

Should we approve the claim, any hire vehicle cost you have incurred up to that point will be reimbursed to you providing they are fair and reasonable costs. If on the other hand we decline the claim we would not be obliged to pay any hire vehicle costs whatsoever, meaning you would be in the same position as you are right now, having to pay up front then settle your demands directly with our insured.

So, as a reasonable person I’m sure you would agree that if you were in our position, you would also refuse to cover any costs that relate to an incident if it were likely or even possible that the claim could be declined, at least until you had a chance to investigate matters.

But no, instead of being reasonable you instead decide to swear and yell abuse down the phone line and abruptly hang up.

Thanks for sharing the beauty of your personality under pressure, you’ve enriched my day…