Been thinking for a while about renaming eSinner.com and changing the theme. Don’t know what the name will be yet, still to figure that out, but I do want to head in a different spiritual direction than where it has been in the past. For about a year or so I’ve felt constrained creatively for content due to what previous posts have discussed and also because what this site in its current form means to me in my head.

When I made the site back in 2003 the most I was confident in stating about myself at the time was that I am a sinner, and a horribly wretched one at that. Trust me on this point! I still believe this as a foundational truth about my nature, but what I’d like to think is that maybe I’ve grown a little since then. No doubt personally, but more importanly spiritually. Because of this I feel my focus needs to shift from the bad news to the good.

I’m also wearing a few more hats than I was at that point. Those being both obvious and pivotal to the need for a change in focus. My little champ will probably read the content herein at some point in the future, and the last thing I want him to think is that his Dad is incapable of change and growth, nor of recognising his own faults.

Spiritually, what resonates more with me these days is not that I’m a sinner, but moreso that I am saved. I think every true Christian has doubts about this at times, but more recently I understand the Father’s unconditional love for us, and I think this is because I know how insanely strong my love is for Josiah. My relationship with him gives me a clearer understanding of how my Heavenly Father’s love for me might look like when my parental love is extrapolated on an infinite and eternal level. Dim picture still I’m sure, but much clearer an idea than I had 6 years ago.

My interests have also shifted a little since 03. I used to be hugely into apologetics, at least on a personal level, partly because of interest in the field, and partly because of insecurity about my own salvation. After a while though apart from keeping the mind active and giving me the tools to hopefully be able to adequately explain the reason for my beliefs, apologetitcs does nothing to touch the heart of the unbeliever. Get them questioning perhaps if they are truely open minded, which none of us really are, but never really enough to meet someone on a spiritual or relational level, and definitely not useful for convicting a soul towards repentance and faith in Jesus Christ. I realise now that this is the job of God’s law.

What I want from the new site to come is a truer representation of me and my journey, and its current trajectory. Not bound by sarcasm, negativity, or even anyone else’s perception of what I should or shouldn’t discuss as a Christian.

The topics I’d like to explore could include evangelism, and my insecurities about sharing my faith with others. Fatherhood too, and the infinite joy I feel inside when I’m spending time with my son. My deep love for my gorgeous wife and how my idea of home revolves around my proximity to her. Previous posts perhaps, and whether or not I still agree with myself six years on. Also how the Christian sub-culture portrays itself in these morally ambiguous times and whether it’s teachings reflect what the scriptures actually state. On this point too, I had an idea of developing my own personal Gospel message/Doctrinal truth check-system based entirely on scripture to grade some of the crap being dished out of the Contemporary Christian Music industry and seeing if we as a Church are still preaching Christ and Him crucified, especially in our music.

These are just some of my ideas, and likelihood is there’d be a fair amount of geek scattered throughout, but to nutshell the idea I want to remove constraints. Just write whatever, or perhaps even nothing. Rant if I feel the need, or reflect on why I feel compelled to rant. Ultimately learn, about myself and those around me.

This after all is what life is all about, relationships.