My last post was little bit less than positive, and though I make no apologies I thought I would take the opportunity to even the score. I know a lot of people probably see me as a negative person. In truth I wouldn’t say I’m negative. I would admit to being a cynic though, but I think cynicism is healthy…to an extent. At the risk of blowing my own trumpet I think it shows that at least I have my head screwed on straight. I am probably too cynical at times though. So that’s why I’m writing this post. I’d like to show that there are lots of parts of my life that I love to bits, and for which I am very thankful.
First and foremost I am thankful for my wife Mellissa. I think I probably would have given up on living completely by now if she had not come into my life. I can honestly say that she is the one blessing in my life that keeps me here. She gave me a reason to live, and a purpose for sticking around. Many of my Christian friends would probably expect me to say that God gives me purpose and a reason to live, and perhaps that is true by proxy since I am positive that it was by God’s hand that Mellissa came into my life. Nevertheless I didn’t originally find purpose from living for God, because without Mel, if it had all been the same with everyone else I would’ve been happy to jump-start my trip into eternity. I think it’s her spirit and embrace that help counter-act the pain I sometimes feel. She’s a blessing to me, and simply the most magical creation in God’s universe. My attitude has changed though, because now I not only live for Mel, but more so for the God who has given me all that I have.
I’m sick of this world. I almost can’t stand it sometimes. I hate the way it works, it’s simply not right. I hate the way people feel that the only way they can make a statement is by hurting the lives of others. It makes me so sad, it’s all so very crazy. Sometimes I think I am allergic to life. Seriously though, don’t laugh, the world really isn’t supposed to work this way, it’s so completely wrong. It’s just not geared right, and when I say world I mean the system. It’s not something specific you can put your finger on, but it’s still not the way it’s meant to be. We’re all part of this system, yet each of our individual contributions to this dynamic has it spinning in the wrong direction. Things aren’t supposed to work this way. It’s that feeling you know? Where life feels like a really bad dream. One of those dreams where you recognise that it’s all completely unreal, or at least shouldn’t be real. Catch is, this time you can’t just tell yourself to wake up. That’s what it feels like sometimes. I don’t know if you feel this way, this is how it feels to me.
So today some more people died. This time in London. We exploit their nations, they blow the crap out of us, we return the favour. Tennis anyone? It’s really one of those give-take relationships. None of it’s right, none of it’s fair, and none of this should ever happen. Ever.
Thanks everyone for your contributions to my previous entry. It was interesting for me to see the replies. The question, as far as I can see, could have been taken two ways. Most of you understood the question to be based within the realm of the world as we know it. When I was driving home the other night, my immediate thoughts worked toward trying to pin-point the most worthwhile aspect of my life that I couldn’t possibly live without. Compared with most of the replies these thoughts were primarily spiritually based. If I had to leave this world, forsaking everything else, I would want my salvation to remain with me. My salvation is the one thing I hold most dear, even above my wife, my dog, and dare I say it, my PC. I did however recognise the possibility for the question to be taken differently, and knew it would be a good way to get an idea of where the primary focus of my readers thoughts are naturally tended.